April is National Poetry Month, and we challenge you to write a poem about whatever you want, in whatever form you want, even if you're not a poet. Write about how you're feeling right now—what makes you feel sexy, what makes you angry, what motivates you, what makes you cry. Don't be afraid to confront these feelings. Some of the best poetry comes from this buried intensity.

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Here is yet another example of the subjectivity of language. Standard American English is an ever-evolving entity, and experts disagree on many aspects of what is "correct." Dictionaries and textbooks vary slightly when it comes to standards of usage, and it is often up to the writer to determine which rules to follow. When it comes to word choice, should you use toward or towards? Cannot or can not? If you're like most writers, you turn to the dictionary and discover that towards is listed as a "variant," which leads you to believe it is "nonstandard." What does that mean? Is it correct or not?

Dictionaries list nonstandard words to indicate that they are commonly used but are not necessarily correct. You'll also find jargon and colloquialisms in the dictionary, but you wouldn't use the word "ain't" in your essay just because it's in the dictionary. (Naturally, you could use it in dialogue.) In other words, err on the side of standard usage.

Standard American English is "substantially uniform and well-established by usage in the speech and writing of the educated and widely recognized as acceptable" according to Merriam-Webster. Based on that definition, we have put together the following list of standard and nonstandard words and phrases.

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As a writer, you know that there's a business side to your craft, especially if your intent is to sell your work. Knowing the basics of copyright laws can help you protect your own interests before signing your rights away, and fortunately it's not a terribly complex subject. In fact, copyrighting your creative work simply couldn't be easier. Whether it's a poem printed on paper or posted on the Internet, your work is automatically protected by copyright as long as it's in a physical form that others can read. The fact that you are reading these words means that this material is copyrighted and has been since the moment it was printed or saved to disk. It's as simple as that. For today's creative writers, copyright protection is a built-in bonus.

Copyright is a form of protection for creative and original works (literary, musical, artistic, among others) that are fixed in a "tangible form of expression." This simply means that what you've created—whether it's a sketch, a sculpture, or a short story—is intellectual property, and it is protected by copyright as long as it can be viewed (or communicated) in a fixed form. It is intended to protect, among other artistic works, literary work, both published and unpublished, giving the author the exclusive, legal right to copy and distribute the work. No one is allowed to copy, distribute, display, or sell copyrighted work without permission.

The "poor man's copyright" is the idea that if you mail yourself a copy of your own work, it becomes tangible proof of ownership. The misconception is that an unopened envelope with a canceled postmark will have some legal status in the courtroom, but this is simply not the case.

Anyone who creates an original creative work may claim copyright. However—and this is unclear for many writers—you do not have to do anything to secure a copyright for your work. Once the words you are reading are down on paper or saved to your hard drive (fixed in a tangible form of expression), they are automatically protected by copyright and immediately become the property of the author. What you write today will be protected for the length of your life, plus at least 70 years.

If you do decide to register with the Copyright Office, you'll find it an easy process. If you want the facts of your copyright on public record, take the time to officially register. It costs approximately $45 and requires filling out a simple form (depending on the type of work you are registering) and a copy of your work. For the most current fee schedule and other guidelines, call (202) 707-3000, or go to www.copyright.gov.

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The trouble with clichés is that they're so spot-on. They can describe exactly what you're trying to say in a way that everyone can understand. So, for instance, if his hands are softer than a baby's bottom, most people can relate—there aren't many things softer in this world. When you're talking to your friend about your teenager, the phrase "every parent's worst nightmare" may pop out of your mouth effortlessly. It's a phrase that sums up exactly how you are feeling.

People speak quickly and pepper their everyday speech with clichéd phrases that were, at one time, original and fresh but have been used for so long that their shiny surfaces have become dull. This is perfectly acceptable. But there are no excuses to let clichés dull your writing. In speech, we would feel awkward taking the time to come up with an original metaphor for how we are feeling. But no such excuse exists for the writer, who presumably has the time to mull over word choices and should not rely on the old "tried and true" phrases that are, in actuality, old and tired.

Clichés are analogies that have been overused. They are easy to identify—ask anyone to fill in the blanks below, and you'll find no hesitation in their answers:

He was cool as a _________.

She was as pretty as a ___________.

The soldier was gone but not __________.

But sometimes a clichéd phrase is so ingrained in our everyday speech that it's hard to spot. "Hushed courtroom," "laid to rest," and "emotional roller coaster" are all clichés that slip easily into our conversations and sometimes into our writing, so when editing your creative writing, keep an eye out for them. Better yet, ask someone else to review your work.

A manuscript peppered with clichés proclaims, "I am the product of a lazy thinker! I am uninspired and unoriginal!" At least that's how an editor is going to perceive it, and that's not what you want. Add some flavor to your prose and come up with some original turns of phrase. Do you have a dark basement in your haunted house? As tempting as it is to use black as night, sin, coal, pitch, or tar, come up with something else to convey the depths of the basement's darkness—something you don't hear or read every day—and impress your editor. Your readers will appreciate the excitement of a fresher phrase as well.

In creative writing the rule is: there are no hard and fast rules. And this also applies to the use of clichés. The general consensus is to avoid using them at all, but they can be effectively used in characterization. If, for example, you have a character who is shallow and unimaginative, let him speak in clichés. This will help the reader identify your character as someone with an uninspired personality. Often characters employ clichés in their speech because, well, clichés are handy and realistic speech is full of them. Your hillbilly may be full of homespun metaphors, and this can work if they're confined to his dialogue.

Most clichés come in the form of metaphors (hotter than blazes, slippery as an eel), but they can also be forms of greeting ("how's it going") or clichéd ideas, such as Santa's twinkling eyes or stomachs tied up in knots. And they can also be plotlines. In horror movies we all know that the couple who slips off to be alone will be the first to be murdered. And in the action flick, the bad guys fire off round after round, missing everyone, but the hero cop fires one shot and instantly kills the leader of the gang. In romance films or books, if the leading lady has an instant and strong dislike for the handsome stranger, they will inevitably end up in a passionate relationship.

If elements of your plot are vaguely familiar, or your beta reader easily predicts what will happen next, you may have a cliché on your hands. Watch for the tired and predictable, and make changes to keep things interesting. And go over your writing with a fine-tooth comb to uncover any clichés that have crept in. They're sneaky, little buggers.

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Did you know that unassuming little misplaced modifiers actually have the power to run people off the road while driving, cause them to choke on their sandwiches, or even cause fits of hysterical laughter? Talk about powerful! Don't let their harmless appearance fool you. One little misplaced modifier can turn a simple hand-lettered sign or billboard into an Internet-cruising joke in no time flat. Confused? Take a look:

Sign posted at a Moscow hotel:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily, except on Thursdays. (Gee, it's a good thing we don't live there!)

At an office:

For those who have children and don't know it, there is a daycare on the first floor. (Must be some pretty quiet kids.)

Misplaced modifiers can also create some interesting mental pictures:

Pizza was given to the teenagers that had pepperoni and olives on them. (I'd like to see some teenagers with sausage and mushrooms on them.)

This summer, I stood knee-deep in the river and caught a fish without waders. (It would be fun to catch a fish that wasn't wearing clothes, wouldn't it?)

Let's go back and make sure we all understand the function of a modifier, and then we can get back to making fun of its improper usage.

A modifier is a group of words that describes or gives additional information about another word (or words) in a sentence. A misplaced modifier is placed incorrectly within the sentence so that it ends up describing (or modifying) the wrong word. For example:

Correct: I like okra when fried.

Incorrect: When fried, I like okra.

The second sentence gives the impression that I like okra only after ingesting drugs and/or alcohol.

Correct: The back tire went flat while I was driving to work.

Incorrect: While driving to work, the back tire went flat.

The second sentence gives us a mental picture of a tire driving to work!

Humorous or confusing examples of misplaced modifiers often circulate through e-mail, and real-life examples are everywhere, especially if you're looking for them. Who hasn't questioned themselves when seeing that all-too-familiar sign, "Slow Children Crossing"?

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It's (pardon the pun) relatively simple to figure out the proper usages of the relative pronouns who and whom: If the pronoun should be subjective, use who or whoever; when it should be in the objective case, use whom or whomever.

The subjective case:
Who is calling?
Who do you think will win the election?
I don't know who is at the door.

The objective case:
To whom did you address the letter?
Whom do you think they'll nominate?
We chose candidates whom we hoped the public would trust.

If it's still unclear, try substituting he or him (or, to avoid gender bias, she or her):
He is calling.
Do you think he will win the election?
He is at the door.
Did you address the letter to her?
Do you think they'll nominate her?
We hope the public will trust her.

The same strategy works for whoever versus whomever:
Whoever is responsible for letting the cat out should go find her. (He is responsible.)
You are free to go to the movies with whomever you want. (Go to the movies with her.)

Things get a little more tricky when who or whom are part of longer clauses that, themselves, function as subjects or objects:
We are looking for donations from whoever wishes to contribute.

In this sentence, "whoever" is the subject of the clause "whoever wishes to contribute," and the entire clause is the object of the preposition "from," not just the pronoun. Confusing? Use our little trick, which yields, He wishes to contribute.

Another tricky one: I told him that I figured out who would be the best person to ask.

"Who" is the subject of the clause "who would be the best person to ask." Employing our strategy, replace who with she:
Right: I told him that I figured out she would be the best person to ask.
Wrong: I told him that I figured out her would be the best person to ask.

Note: Everyday speech can be informal, as is dialogue and informal writing, and who is often used when whom is actually correct. Whether or not you choose the objective form or the subjective form is up to you and depends on the formality of your writing. The conclusion from experts is this: In informal speech and writing, we can break the rules. In formal writing, we cannot.

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Many people consider semicolons to be the most confusing of the punctuation marks. These people generally fall into two camps: those who liberally pepper their page with semicolons, and those who never use them for fear of using them incorrectly. However, as with the other marks of punctuation, using semicolons is not difficult if you keep some basic rules in mind.

Rule 1: Use a semicolon between independent clauses that are closely related in theme.

Independent clause: a word group that contains at least one subject, at least one verb, and expresses a complete thought. An independent clause is also called a sentence.

The key words in this rule are closely related in theme. You should not place semicolons indiscriminately between independent clauses, as in the following example:

Example 1: Jane drove to Phoenix to visit her parents; her parents' dog had to go to the vet.

Clearly, these sentences have nothing to do with each other. The fact that Jane visited her parents in Phoenix is one thing, and the fact that her parents' dog had an appointment with the vet is quite another. A period should be used between unrelated sentences such as these. Semicolons should be placed only between sentences that are closely related in theme, as in the following example:

Example 2: Tom earned his bachelor's degree last summer; his sister earned hers in the fall.

These sentences are related thematically; both discuss academic degrees and when they were earned, so the semicolon is appropriate. Of course, a period would also be appropriate.

Rule 2: Use a semicolon before conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases that join independent clauses.

Conjunctive adverb: adverb that acts as a transition between independent clauses by showing comparison, contrast, cause-effect, sequence, or other relationships.

Common conjunctive adverbs: also, consequently, conversely, finally, furthermore, hence, however, meanwhile, moreover, nevertheless, nonetheless, otherwise, similarly, subsequently, therefore, thus

Transitional phrase: a phrase that acts as a transition between independent clauses by showing comparison, contrast, cause-effect, sequence, or other relationships.

Common transitional phrases: after all, as a matter of fact, as a result, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in other words, on the contrary, on the other hand

Example 3: Philip is studying engineering; however, he is also interested in pursuing a degree in music education.

Example 4: Cindy has published several novels; in addition, she has published a volume of poetry.

In each of the previous two examples, you should note two things. First, the sentences joined by the semicolons are closely related in theme, which is the fundamental rule of semicolon placement. Second, note that the semicolon is placed before the conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase. This is because the adverb or phrase begins an independent clause. Compare the following examples:

Example 5: Angela fell and injured her leg last month; nevertheless, she was able to compete in the race today.

Example 6: Jim has always been an exceptionally hard worker; his coworkers, moreover, have nominated him for employee of the month seven times.

In Example 5, the semicolon is placed before the conjunctive adverb nevertheless since the adverb begins an independent clause. In Example 6, the semicolon is placed before his since his signals the beginning of the independent clause. The conjunctive adverb in this sentence (moreover) is simply serving as an interrupter.

Rule 3: To ensure clarity, use a semicolon between items that contain internal punctuation.

Compare the following examples:

Example 7: For her young son's birthday, Jenny purchased a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, sprinkles, and candy topping, a pair of shoes with white stripes, laces, and light-up heels, and a new racetrack complete with cars, people figurines, and miniature buildings.

Example 8: For her young son's birthday, Jenny purchased a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, sprinkles, and candy topping; a pair of shoes with white stripes, laces, and light-up heels; and a new racetrack complete with cars, people figurines, and miniature buildings.

Example 7 is difficult to read due to its excessive use of commas; because of the internal punctuation within each item in the list, the commas between those items serve only to muddle the writing and confuse the reader.

Example 8, which places semicolons between each item, is much clearer.

Semicolons are like spices; they shouldn't be overused. As spices complement the main ingredients in a dish, semicolons should complement your writing—not overpower it. When used correctly, semicolons can add variety and increased readability to your writing.

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Even if it weren't so awkward to read. It would be pretty obvious. That the fragmented nature of these "sentences" is a problem. Worse, they're the hallmark of an amateur writer.

By the third grade, most of us know better than to write scraps and bits instead of complete sentences that include a subject and a verb. We know that a sentence must present a complete thought, and when you leave out the verb, you're left with a sentence fragment. Or a C instead of an A on the midterm. (Oops, there's one now.) As writers, we have certain rules to follow. We also have the creative license to mess around with them a little, and seasoned writers know that using sentence fragments in creative writing doesn't necessarily warrant a visit from the grammar police.

Some examples:

Sentence fragments are often successfully used in poetry, such as this haiku by Bashō.

an old pond-

the sound of a frog

jumping into water

Advertising agencies and copywriters also make frequent use of sentence fragments to add "punch" to their copy. It lends a conversational tone and makes the message more personal, less formal.

Cockroaches in the pantry? Try Roach-Away!

Silk sheets in all the brightest colors. Soft pastels in every hue.

Sheets-N-Stuff has everything you need for spring!

How about political slogans?

Bob Dole. A better man for a better America!

Creative writers often use sentence fragments in dialogue, as this more accurately depicts the patterns of our natural speech.

"Is that you, Mr. Jones? Why don't you pull up a chair and join me?"

"No can do. Too much work to do. Terrible, really."

"I see you're using sentence fragments. Aren't you afraid of retribution?"

"Hardly! Retribution from whom? My high school English teacher?"

To emphasize a point:

"Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!"

Or as an afterthought:

"I've searched everywhere," she said, defeated. "Except, perhaps, the drugstore on Main Street..."

The conclusion? It is perfectly okay to use sentence fragments in creative writing, as long as you, the author, recognize them for what they are and what they're used for. Be careful, however, and use them sparingly—otherwise, your writing may sound choppy or, worse, you could face a visit from your high school English teacher.

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Hard as it is to admit, we all need a little help at times. We depend on doctors, lawyers, accountants, even professional tree trimmers, when their expertise can make our lives a little easier. And let's face it—life is hard enough without trying to do everything ourselves.

That's the philosophy behind Writer's Relief. We make it our business to take the work out of getting published. We don't offer to do the writing for you—but we do offer a valuable service to those who have the talent, perseverance, and courage to offer up their work to readers.

At Writer's Relief, we draw from years of experience to smooth the way for our writers—if we feel a piece is likely to capture an editor or agent's attention, we use proven methods to help that piece find its way to print. It requires research, contacts, and organization, backed by our years of experience since 1994, but that's what we specialize in doing. And we have a proven track record of success.

Submission is a tedious, thankless process, one that many writers simply don't have the time, and sometimes the courage to face. And they're not alone. Many well-known authors ran the submission gauntlet, ending up rejected and frustrated and finally publishing their work themselves. CS Lewis sent more than 800 manuscripts before he made a sale; Ray Bradbury, also around 800. Alex Haley received 200 rejections before reaching success with Roots. Robert Persig's classic, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, couldn't get started at 121 publishing houses. And e.e. cummings dedicated The Enormous Room, which he self-published, to the publishers who had rejected it. Other famous authors who chose the self-publishing route—James Joyce, Beatrix Potter, Anaïs Nin, Mark Twain, Upton Sinclair (to name but a few)—probably did so out of sheer frustration with the submission process!

Writer's Relief also offers formatting, proofreading, and making sure that our writers' finished products are as clean and correct as possible. We know that a careful presentation can be the difference between a haughty sniff and a second look.

It's a well-known fact that Ernest Hemingway completely ignored the rules of punctuation, and spelling just wasn't his "thang." Nor was it W.B. Yeats or Hans Christian Anderson's thang, although they had the additional burden of dyslexia to contend with. F. Scott Fitzgerald was a notoriously bad speller as well, and in a letter of recommendation to his editor, he repeatedly referred to the as yet unknown Hemingway as "Hemmingway." And yet they were all gifted authors.

English spelling appears to be an illogical, often random affair, and there are plenty of confusing exceptions for every rule. Our language is not always phonetic, it's hopelessly complex, and there are far too many rules to remember. One study from Stanford found that more than 300 rules would be required to correctly spell half of our 17,000 most frequently used words! The English language is filled with such land mines as silent consonants (talk, yolk), double letters (vacuum, sapphire), plus a host of everyday words we've stolen from other languages (bureau, ballet, mayonnaise, omelette). Then there are the purely unthinkable combinations that we pass off as words—choir, diphtheria, gherkin, pneumonia—and it's a wunder that anyone can spell anything correctly at all.

Writers are often too close to their work to proofread it effectively, even if they have mastered our ungainly spelling system. At Writer's Relief, our proofreaders do more than check for misspellings. We catch punctuation and grammatical errors that often slip past unnoticed. We flag problems with subject/verb agreement, dangling participles, and formatting errors; we double-check song lyrics, brand names, and quotes; if your character magically transforms from an earl to a lord, our proofers will catch it. We're hunters, tracking inconsistencies in plot, as well as those pesky little homophones that trip everyone up at times. It's simply a matter of having a skilled, objective reader polish your work to perfection.

We have the utmost faith in our writers and their ability to get published—with or without our help. Our writers are intelligent, capable, and dedicated to their craft. We're just here to offer a bit of moral support, a fresh set of eyes, and years of experience navigating the treacherous waters of submission.

So, let us know if you could use a helping hand. We don't want your dreams to be nipped in the butt.

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The comma "rule" that many of us learned—to place a comma anywhere we think a reader should pause—often results in muddled, nearly incoherent sentences like the following:

When Susan was a child, she wanted to be an astronaut, or a doctor, or a banker, but when she graduated from high school, she decided, that she would like to become an artist, and live in a big, exciting, fun city.

This "rule" is, of course, not a rule at all, and following it made the sentence above very difficult to read. Are all nine commas really necessary? Let's check the seven fundamental comma rules.

Comma Rule 1: Use a comma before coordinating conjunctions that join independent clauses.

Coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet

Independent clause: a word group that contains at least one subject, at least one verb, and expresses a complete thought; also called a sentence.

Example: Tom enjoys writing poetry, and he has submitted several poems to regional literary magazines.

Comma Rule 2: Use commas to separate items in a series.

Example: She bought bread, milk, cookies, and juice.

Example: Of the three children, Becky is the oldest, James is the youngest, and Jack is the middle child.

Comma Rule 3: Use a comma after introductory words, phrases, and clauses.

Example: Quietly, she tiptoed past the sleeping child. (introductory word)

Example: Running quickly, Marjorie arrived at the bus stop before the bus pulled away. (introductory phrase)

Example: After he finished his homework, Brian read The Great Gatsby. (introductory clause)

Comma Rule 4: Use commas to set off nonrestrictive phrases or clauses from the rest of the sentence.

Nonrestrictive phrase or clause: a phrase or clause that adds nonessential information to the sentence. In other words, if the phrase or clause was removed from the sentence, the sentence would still retain its original meaning.

Example: Several politicians, lawyers, and business leaders attended the conference, which began at 2 p.m. (nonrestrictive clause)

Comma Rule 5: Use a comma between adjectives that modify the same noun.

Hint: If you can put and or but between the adjectives, a comma will probably belong there.

Example: Edgar is a tall, distinguished businessman. (Since we could write tall and distinguished, the comma is necessary.)

Example: When I was in college, I lived in a small brown house next to a filling station. (Since we are not likely to say that we lived in a small and brown house, no comma is necessary between these adjectives.)

Comma Rule 6: Use a comma to separate a direct address from the rest of the sentence.

Example: Becky, please go to the store and buy some milk.

Example: If we don't go soon, Barney, it will be too late.

Comma Rule 7: In direct quotes, use a comma (or commas) to separate the speaker from the quote.

Example: The teacher said, "Please pass your essays to the front of the room."

Example: "I want to go to grandma's house," the child said.

Example: "Drive to the mall," Mother said, "and buy a new sleeping bag for your camping trip."

Comma placement is not difficult if we follow these basic rules. So let's take another look at the first example: How many of the nine commas are necessary? If you said five, you're correct. Here's the sentence as it should be punctuated:

When Susan was a child, she wanted to be an astronaut or a doctor or a banker, but when she graduated from high school, she decided that she would like to become an artist and live in a big, exciting, fun city.

The first comma in the sentence follows rule 3: Use a comma after introductory words, phrases, and clauses.

The second comma follows rule 1: Use a comma before coordinating conjunctions that join independent clauses.

The third comma follows rule 3: Use a comma after introductory words, phrases, and clauses.

The fourth and fifth commas follow rule 5: Use a comma between adjectives that modify the same noun.

Comma placement can be tricky, but if we follow the fundamental rules, it can—and will—become second nature.

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Here at Writer’s Relief, our staff is expert in the business of writing. We’re here to organize, encourage, and facilitate the process of writing for creative writers who don’t have time to tackle the business side of their craft.

Unfortunately, there are a few areas in which we are fairly useless:

We can’t fix your parking tickets, leaky faucets, or that pesky termite problem.

We can’t house-train your new puppy (or your toddler).

We can’t smooth wrinkles, halt hair loss, or lower cholesterol.

We can’t refinance your mortgage, negotiate a raise, or solve the social security crisis.

We can’t change your world view, your mind, or your gender.

We can’t locate lost pets, old friends, or wandering muses.

We can’t make you more popular among your peers or cure the heartbreak of psoriasis.

We can’t school you in the art of flower arranging, give you a position of power, or tone your abs.

And we can’t even hook you up with your true love…or the hottie who lives down the street.

What we can do, however, is save you valuable time and effort researching markets and guidelines and keeping track of submissions. You can focus your time and energy on writing, while we relieve you of the burden of promoting your own work. Here’s how it works.

You send us unpublished samples of your work, which we review for quality. We only accept and submit work from writers we believe have the ability to be published. Our review board takes from one day to one month to contact you, depending on the genre being submitted and the timeliness of your submission. We do not charge a reading fee.

After we’ve completed our review, we’ll quote you flat fees for our various services. You tell us how much or how little to do. Our clients stipulate how much work we will complete, so their fees are not open-ended. In other words, you set the pace and budget the time spent by telling us how much work to do for you.

We’ll help you get your act together. We proofread your work with a keen eye for detail. Then, we target those publishers and agents most appropriate and make certain your writing is professionally prepared. Your writing will be organized and targeted to appropriate markets. We will also help with query and cover letters, and we constantly update guidelines for literary journals and agents to make sure your work gets to the right person. Our database contains the most up-to-date information on creative writing outlets available anywhere.

We keep accurate records of all costs related to your work and provide an itemized list with your billing. This service is invaluable at tax season. And most exciting, we create a personal database for each client that details the status of each submission and all titles, acceptance information, etc. and is available to you online 24 hours a day.

So, if you’re looking for a little help getting your submission strategies in order, give us a shout. But if you’re looking for a little help with your mother-in-law or your wayward garden, you might be better off perusing the Yellow Pages.

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Knowing how to recognize and spell compound words can sometimes be tricky. Here are some tips to help:

Definition: A compound word is formed when two or more words join to form a new word that has its own meaning. Although compound words are often written as single words (such as teapot), sometimes they are not. That’s why it is important to understand that there are three types of compound words: closed compounds, hyphenated compounds, and open compounds. Let’s take a look at each of them:

Closed Compounds: compounds written as single words (newspaper, goldfish, highway)

Hyphenated Compounds: compounds that are hyphenated (mother-in-law, second-rate, court-martial)

Open Compounds: compounds written as separate words (end zone, high school, health care)

Sometimes knowing when to write compounds as single words, hyphenated words, or separate words is difficult. That’s because some compound words change their type based on their function in a particular sentence.

For example, when used as a noun, backup is written as one word: The police officer called for backup. However, when the same compound word is used as a verb, it is written as two words (back up): Did you back up your computer files? When used as an adjective, backup is one word: What is your backup plan for tomorrow night?

Thus, the first tip for understanding how to write a compound word is knowing the word’s function in the sentence. Let’s take a look at a few more examples:

1. handout: As Jill was walking down the street, a man gave her a handout advertising a free concert in the park. (Here, handout is a noun.)

2. hand out: John handed out the flyers. (Here, handed out is a verb.)

3. upside down: The cake landed upside down. (Here, upside down is an adverb telling how the cake landed.)

4. upside-down: The upside-down poster announced a free concert in the park. (Here, upside-down is an adjective describing poster.)

When in doubt about the spelling of a compound word, you should first consult a dictionary, such as Merriam-Webster, which will list the appropriate spellings based on the word’s function in the sentence. You will find, too, that many words are always spelled one way, regardless of their function. For example, according to Merriam-Webster, high school is written as two words regardless of whether it is used as a noun—Peggy has just started high school—or an adjective—Peggy is a high school student.

The confusion occurs when the compound word is not found in the dictionary. Then, writers need to rely on their judgment to ensure that their intended meaning is preserved. Here are some tips to help:

1. Hyphenate the compound word if its meaning will be ambiguous without the hyphen.

Example: Dr. Lawrence, a small-town practitioner, was the first official to arrive on the scene. (Here, the hyphen is necessary; without it, readers may think that the practitioner was a small man, rather than a practitioner who works in a small town.)

2. Never hyphenate compound words that are created with -ly adverbs.

Example: Tammy and Bob bought the recently renovated house on Main Street.

3. Hyphenate the elements of a compound adjective that occurs before a noun.

Example: They attended a black-tie affair.

Note: The following kinds of compound adjectives almost always need to be hyphenated:

Noun + adjective (tax-exempt), Noun + participle (government-owned), Adjective + participle (friendly-looking), Adjective + noun + ed (high-priced)

Remember these points when working with compound words, and you should have no trouble with their spelling:

1. There are three types of compound words: closed compounds, hyphenated compounds, and open compounds.

2. If you are in doubt about the spelling of a compound word, you should check a dictionary before you apply any other guidelines.

3. Hyphenate if ambiguity will result without the hyphen.

4. Never hyphenate -ly adverbs.

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Verbs can be expressed in one of three moods:

Indicative: She picks up litter.

Imperative: Pick up that litter.

Subjunctive: If only she were to pick up the litter.

Most of us cringe when we hear "If only I was president of this country…" In the strictest sense, it should be "If only I were president," using the subjunctive—a mood used to express condition, hypothesis, possibility, speculation, and feelings, rather than actual fact. But often in dialogue, the subjunctive sounds too formal. (Imagine a teenage character saying, "Dude, I wish I were a superhero—that would be awesome!")

You’re more likely to see "It is imperative that he is present for the meeting" rather than "It is imperative that he be present for the meeting." The latter uses the subjunctive mood correctly, but it does sound a bit stiff for some writers’ taste. The subjunctive mood has been called "pretentious," and some claim that it’s dying out in modern literature. Perish the thought! (There’s that subjunctive again!)

If you’re feeling confused, don’t worry. You’re not alone. The declining use of the subjunctive in the English language makes it confusing and difficult to use correctly, but it does have its place, especially in formal written expression.

Some examples of the various forms:

Formulaic Subjunctives (common expressions)

if it please the court

truth be told

God save the queen

try as you might

be that as it may

Present Subjunctive

The boss requests that they stop the drilling immediately.

We insist he be appointed at once.

Past Subjunctive

The boss requested that they stop the drilling immediately.

I wish she weren’t leaving tomorrow.

Pluperfect Subjunctive

If you hadn’t told me, I would have said the wrong thing.

I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

Future Subjunctive

If he were to die tomorrow, the inheritance would be mine.

Come tomorrow, that group will be miles away.

More Examples:

The judge recommends that he be put to death.

I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

He recommended that each waitress report her tips.

May the Lord bless you.

I demand that he be taken away at once.

If I should go, will you take care of my cat?

It is important that we donate blood.

He acted as if he were guilty.

I move that the bill be put to a vote.

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As a writer, you have many strategies at your disposal for upping your nuisance factor, but the following are a few surefire ways to get a good, solid reputation as a seriously annoying author!

For the author awaiting acceptance:

Submit work based on a theme that has been overused. Editors hate to see fresh, original work! Make good use of clichés and tired metaphors and similes, and submit characters that are flat and one dimensional.

Be sure that your cover or query letter is filled with grammatical errors and the liberal use of Wite-Out (coffee stains are great as well). Address it: "To Whom it May Concern." As an author, you are far too busy with the creative process of writing to research the appropriate editor's name.

Disregard the publisher's guidelines, such as formatting, word count, and subject matter. Send a sexy romance novel to a Christian book publisher. Use single spacing and a fun font, like Bazooka or a calligraphy font. It may be hard to read, but it sure does make an impression!

Submit nonfiction without fact-checking and without citing references. Make up erroneous data or claim others' research as your own. (You can also make up words and new sentence constructions.) If your work contains URLs that are defunct, that's okay too. That's what copy editors are for.

Call on a daily basis soon after your submission has been sent to see if it was received. Ask what the holdup is. Ask whoever answers the phone to look for it while you hold. Ask again what the holdup is. Don't worry about coming across as overbearing and unprofessional—persistence is what matters.

For the author whose work has been accepted:

Don't return your editor's phone calls or e-mails. Or answer them at your leisure, possibly a week or so later.

Ignore deadlines. If a revision is due in two weeks, make sure you extend that by at least a week, citing several personal reasons for the delay. Publicity and marketing schedules aren't all that important.

Become firmly attached to your idea of cover art or a book title. Refuse to entertain alternative concepts, and never defer to the publisher's expertise.

Be inflexible when it comes to publicity opportunities. You are the author, and therefore you can be choosy about when and where you want to be available.

Complain vociferously, through repeated phone calls and/or e-mails, if any aspect of the publishing process moves too slowly or otherwise offends you. Put your editor's phone number on speed dial.

Take the lead and lend the publicity department a helping hand. Forge ahead and set up book signings and speaking engagements on your own. If they interfere with the publisher's plan, throw a small fit and threaten to sue.

Of course, if you are unable to adhere to these simple rules, you run the risk of getting a reputation as a serious, professional writer. And that would be tragic.

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